I have not been blogging for the past 2 weeks. In these two weeks, I have abstained for the past days because first of all, I was a bit lazy. But now, I think I need to blog a bit. I think that starting summer classes is a bit fun. I have studied Japanese and Psychology, which are both interesting. In Japanese, it is a good boost that i mastered hiragana and katakana early on, and now i’m trying to master sentence constructions in japanese and kanji. I think that everything is going smoothly so far, but I have been raging over somebody right now. I won’t say the gender and other clues since I may be labeled as something else. I can’t believe that this person really irritated me to the point that this person even went far from me. Note: I DON’T BITE. I’m trying to be myself, but no one seems to be pleased. If that’s the case, then I think it’s time to mix my id and super ego, as stated in psychology. If the person still does not appreciate me, then i’d wish that person the worst luck in the world. i know it’s bad to curse, but the person let me no choice but to do so.

Today, I have visited about 10 churches to pray, because it is Maundy Thursday. Also, in this day, my grades, well most of them, got released. My point for now is 2.17, but that is still incomplete since the national language subject grade was not yet released. I am hoping to get an A there so that my point will be increased to up to 2.83. But after the prayer, I suddenly realized my true faith after a friend of mine reminded me about it. I suddenly had a mini-dream on the importance of friendship. I shared it to them, but I think no one at least bothered to care. Well, I do not care either because I do not expect any response from them. After that mini-dream, I suddenly realized that I need to protect the bonds between us friends, and not my friends themselves, for they can protect themselves, I know it. But most importantly, I gained the conviction to be by her side. The reason of my conviction was mainly her, but according to my friend, extreme optimism is not good. I do not believe that, and shared my opinions about this. Beatrice stated that it is just an idealism. True that I rely more on idealism more than optimism since optimism is just another term for positive assumptions. I gotta admit, I hate whiners. They should take more action, and let them speak for themselves. I mean they can start on action by speaking for what they believe in. If they have conviction, then they also have faith in themselves, and it is shown by not whining at all at the current situation. The real fight only begins when one is tested in any way, physically or mentally or spiritually. I am not a preacher, but that is what I believe in. This is the lance that carries my heart’s desire: the desire to protect the friendship and sibling-hood. That is why a smile is always a good companion of mine. Without a smile, I cannot carry on.

Today, I went to my friend Lawrence’s house. I cannot believe that for the first time, our group was complete. To introduce to you all, the group members are named as follows (of course with the alias convention): Lawrence Gerard and Londinium Marco Gomez, Candice Janelle Santos, Mon Lelouch Carl, Andre Kelvin Myers, Tim Ethan Dominguez, Abraham Calibre Quinto, Barrett Charlemagne Clemens and Camille Clemens. Too bad that the other members of our friendship were not there, like Brian Mario Berchman and Pablo Heinrich Penalosa. But despite all of that, we had fun. Well I think I have got nothing to say for this day. I am just waiting for my day to come.

After about 2 months of waiting and panicking, I have finally apologized to Beatrice. It feels good to apologize to somebody. For now, I have learned many things in this experience. I believe that this is just a test towards being better friends, I guess. Thanks to the supports given by Maria and my friends, I have found my true purposes in our friendship. I do not want to hurt another person again, and I do not want to be a drag for others anymore. Instead, I will live my life in helping people. I especially want to make it up to my fault to Beatrice, but I am glad that she is an understanding girl. I have come to a realization that she is still a kid. Well I may not be an adult yet, but I presume that kids should know a bit of the world. Also, when I apologized to her, I never expected such a straight answer, an answer in which even a kid can accomplish. She said to me “okay” despite the fact that I have said many things. I admit that I have said too much, and I think I have clearly shown to her that my intentions are pure and clean. After that, I think Beatrice and I should start out cleanly and I will not hurt or offend her again. Instead of that, I’ll make her comfortable when she is with me and live a life of helping not only her, but others as well. I especially thank God for giving me at least an ounce of guts to apologize to her and I really appreciate it. Next time we meet, I’ll make sure that we will be better friends by then.